GOODBYE LETTER TO MY 20s, HELLO 30
It’s taken me a second to sit down and write this. In fact, it’s been a couple of months since I celebrated turning 30! I celebrated all weekend long with multiple themed days - including an RIP to my 20s dinner, a 13 Going on 30 movie night, and a Dirty 30 Drag Brunch. I don’t feel wiser or significantly older, but there have been some changes. So let’s get personal, and I’ll share my thoughts about entering this next chapter and how I felt about my 20s.
What It’s Really Been Like Turning 30
For one, I definitely feel the pressure of questions like “When will you have kids?” as a woman. My timeline shouldn’t matter to anyone else or even if I decide to have kids are not, but when a lot of people around you are starting families and you’re not, it’s hard to not feel some sort of guilt for not wanting that. I’m really happy with my family as it is, and like I always tell people who ask the question “will we ever have kids?”, I have 3! They all just happen to be extremely fuzzy, bark, and have four legs.
Another thing I didn’t expect in this new decade was feeling a drift with old friends. I think I’m realizing just because you have a long history with someone, it doesn’t mean they will always continue to be close in your life. This has been a really sad realization, but at the same time, I know what a great adult friendship can be. Turning 30 has been realizing what my ideal friendships look like. They don’t have big drama; we support each other in the hard times and don’t have unrealistic expectations of each other. And every time we leave a hangout, I can be tired, but I’ll feel refilled and never drained.
Overall, I feel more sure of myself. There are times when I wish I had the experience I do now back when I was pursuing music full-time, but I’m learning that I can take all the experience I’ve gotten in my 20s and use that to continue doing the things I love. Because as much as I told myself the opposite of this in my 20s, there is no age limit when it comes to pursuing certain dreams (like music, writing a book, getting in the best shape of my life, whatever it may be). I just get to do that now with even more assuredness and experience than before.
Letter to my 20’s
To my 20’s, thanks for all the great adventures you brought. Through sharing my music, I traveled more than I could’ve imagined and realized along the way that I always want to be exploring new places. Thanks for teaching me what it’s like to run my own business, how to say “no” when I need to, and for all the “omg I’m an adult” moments, like renting my first apartment and buying myself things like a mattress. Thank you for the friends you brought, and a wonderful partner that I wasn’t even looking to meet (but when it happened, it just made sense). Even though there was unexpected great loss during this decade, you also brought some new life and with that new titles like Aunt/Tia Megan. Thanks for teaching me to never be afraid to try something new, because even if it fails, you get to take all the things you learned. You showed me that showing up and putting yourself out there can lead to the most unexpected adventures. Like saying “yes” to speaking at a SXSW panel which led to me getting to meet and interview Michelle Obama (what!) or saying “yes” to a game night where I would meet my future spouse. Thanks for everything you taught me.
If I could change one thing about those years in my 20s…. I’d tell that version of Megan to be nicer to herself! She’s doing great and should be proud of herself instead of being discouraged by numbers or goals someone else expected her to reach.
Because looking back, she’s done pretty great, I’d say.