HELLO, 2022
When I first reflected back on 2021….
I thought about goodbyes that came too soon. I thought about all the things I didn’t do, but wanted to, like travel more with Cooper and release a ton of music. And I still didn’t learn Spanish or even finish reading all the books on my shelf. Overall, my feelings towards 2021 were initially not super positive.
As I looked through the photos on my phone, I realized how many little wins there actually were. It helped for me to focus on and give thanks for all the good in my life. And all this reflecting reminded me to not tie so much of my worth to my accomplishments. Even if I didn’t hit certain work goals, after looking back, I would say 2021 was still filled with a lot of good and a lot of growth.
In 2021…
I had visions of photoshoots and brought them to life with some amazing photographers/friends.
Transformed a space in our home into sunroom that’s become a safe haven filled with my plants.
Became a true #gamer and got my first PC.
Watched my husband create and release his first ever music project: BouncyBear.
I celebrated a dear friend who got married. Then got to watch my sister and her husband live a true fairytale when they said their “I Do’s” a second time in front of more loved ones.
I started to write more and collaborate again with people.
My love for weight training grew, and it’s become my favorite way to keep my body moving and healthy. And I get to train with a friend whose chats I value each morning in her gym.
I grew my plant collection and even started my own little garden via a lettuce grow plant stand. Going out to my backyard to collect my own cilantro to throw in my homemade salsa was the best.
I made more trips out to California, my second home, and even made it back to Disneyland after a couple years.
I got back into creating more videos for YouTube again.
I added a new team member to help with my blog and started to get weekly posts up.
I released my song Sunshine and my first merch item in years.
We streamed on Twitch weekly and started to do more variety and gaming content again, not just music.
I went all out for Halloween decor in my home.
I went to my first concert in years and saw the Jonas Brothers with my sister and sang every word at the top of my lungs.
I had friends visit and got to show them my new home in Tennessee.
I took a brand deal that brought us out to Utah and the crisp fall air there and change of scenery was warmly welcomed.
I celebrated my sister-in-law who was soon to be a mother and co-hosted her baby shower. (Then her twins came into the world, and 2022 will be the year I get to meet my first ever niece and nephew.)
I made some more videos and took a last minute trip to New York when we found some cheap flights.
And then all the positive things that filled the front half of the year started to fade from my mind. We found ourselves driving back and forth to Oklahoma to be near Cooper’s family when his dad was hospitalized with COVID. We were waiting for things to take a turn for the better. By the end of August, we got on the first flight we could grab the day his Dad passed away and managed to keep our eyes dry as we took two flights to get to Oklahoma to be with everyone and say our goodbyes.
That moment sort of fills up my whole mind for 2021. It took me going through my photos from the year to remember everything before and even after that. What followed was two more deaths from my family. A loss of a grandfather and a great aunt who was more like a grandmother to me. Goodbyes seemed to fill up our time and minds, and I was finding this balance of the best way to be there for my partner Cooper after losing his dad. But slowly, I started to focus on the little joys again, and I drank in some of the beautiful moments mentioned above. This year was certainly a mixed bag, and I’m still learning how to hold grief and joy at the same time.
Then that brings us to now. COVID finally got to me even after being fully vaccinated, but I was so thankful that besides one day of fever, my symptoms were pretty mild and that I could still taste and smell (because eating food and watching Christmas movies alone was about all I did this holiday). After many days of being inside and a negative test, I’m finally on my way to celebrate a belated Christmas with my fam and bring in a very welcome new year.
And as I look ahead to 2022, all I want to do is create, create, create. Create more music, more photoshoots, create my dream home, create more videos, and, who knows, maybe finally create through new avenues I’ve wanted to try like screenwriting. I want to create without thinking of the pressures of “how will this perform online” and just create because I love to.
Goodbye 2021… Hello 2022.