10 YEARS OF "B-E-A-UTIFUL"
A whole decade has passed since I released my first song “B-e-a-utiful.” A song that actually changed my life. Still a teenager wanting to be in love, I gathered around the computer with my family as I made my first original live on YouTube. I remember feeling nervous because it was the first time I would ever share my own words and feelings through a song. I remember being excited because this was the start to what I always wanted to do, share my own music. I remember feeling ready for a new adventure because aside from a computer, most of our home was packed up to move to California. Funnily enough, we were moving for my Dad’s job, but the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
The video went live, and to this day, I can’t believe the response that song received. It was the most watched and liked video of the day. Thousands of comments from people relating to ”B-e-a-utiful” filled my heart so much that I thought it might explode with joy. People were actually relating to my song, and I couldn’t believe it. Over the next few days I would be wooed by labels because of the response and ultimately end up with Bad Boy/Interscope records. I’d move to LA, go on to see more countries than I could’ve wrapped my head around, live my Disney dreams and perform on the network, walk so many carpets I always felt I had no business being on, and meet so many new collaborators who I would learn from. Even though the label dream wasn’t all one hopes it to be, and I would eventually choose to go independent, I would never change a thing.
Just the other day I saw a TikTok of someone saying, “hey remember this girl/this song … she taught me how to spell beautiful.” I smiled at the thought of being nostalgic for someone. I used to think that aged me, but really I’m so thankful I had the chance to be a part of so many of people’s lives growing up. And I was literally a kid too! I’m especially thankful for the people that are still on this journey with me because I’ve still got a lot to say.
To myself 10 years ago, thanks for putting your heart out there and chasing your dreams with no hesitation. I have to tell you … After releasing “B-e-a-utiful,” you will find something that looks a lot like love, and that’s going to be tough to go through, but it will make for some good break up anthems. You’ll go on some dates and talk to some guys that lead you to write some more songs. Eventually you will find the one to call you “b-e-a-utiful,” and it’s not like the fairytale love you thought you wanted, but it is a whole lot better. You’re going to find a real partner for life who wakes up and chooses to love you and encourages you to be the best version of yourself you can be. Someone who wants you on the days you maybe don’t feel or act so beautiful. Don’t worry about chasing after it either. Keep chasing that dream and working on yourself because you’ll meet when you aren’t even looking. In fact, you meet because of some more songs that you eventually write. Finally, to myself 10 years ago, I could learn a thing or two from you. Because you didn’t hesitate putting your heart out there, and you encourage me to do the same on the days when I overthink my music.
I’m so thankful for that little song that changed my life. Happy 10 years “B-e-a-utiful” <3
Fun Fact: I had to fight to add the spelling part to “B-e-a-utiful.” No one else thought it would work! Glad 16 year old me stuck to what she wanted creatively.