5 YEARS MARRIED

I think it’s safe to say we are officially out of the newlywed phase and halfway to an “old married couple”. I always hated the comments from onlookers early on in marriage of “just wait, it will wear off soon” or “you’ll see one day, you’ll like each other less.” Sure, there are ups and downs, but I chose a partner that I can move through the ebbs and flows of life with. And he’s someone I love to be around and experience new things with. In tune with last year’s posts, here are five things that I’ve learned in five years of marriage. (P.S. Happy anniversary, Cooper!)

Experience New Things Together

Sounds simple enough, but it can be easy to get so comfortable that you forget to make the effort to experience new things together. Traveling to new cities, making a new recipe together, going to museums, trying roller skating for the first time since childhood, new co-op video games, creating together… I love our moments on the couch watching a show, but I also love making time to go out and do something new together.

Patience

Having patience for the little human errors we all make has made a huge difference in our relationship. It's not worth getting upset over shoes left on the ground or a dish left in the sink. It’s so much easier when we just have a gentle conversation about it, or sometimes I’ll even just put away the hat Cooper left on the couch because Lord knows the amount of shoes I’ve left strewn around. I feel like we have much more productive conversations when we enter with patience.

Talk Time

Designated couch talks were a game changer for us. Cooper and I not only work from home but also work together a lot. You think that would go towards my fill for time together, but it’s still different than intentionally making an effort. It’s also a good time to check in and see how we are feeling/doing and see if there are any areas where we can be supporting each other.

Know How We Love

Knowing how we receive and give love has been so helpful. Quality time and gifts (small ways to show someone thought of me) are how I show and want to be loved while Cooper’s is physical touch. I’m actually not much of a fan of touch by nature (I don’t even think to hug my friends too often), but I always make sure Cooper feels loved through little things like reaching out to hold his hand when he’s next to me. If you want to figure out your love language, check out The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Riding the Waves

We all know life is going to throw us a lot of ups and down. Knowing when to give space to your partner and when to pep them up has been so helpful. Sometimes, I just need space to decompress and watch a show, and other times I need my partner to help lift me out of a funk and maybe suggest a “hot girl walk.” I feel like we’ve found a good balance of how to be there for each other.

Photo by: Ether & Smith